A Certain Place and Time

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This rustic sunset. I always watch for this sitting on the ledge of our front porch. While making this piece I felt a lump in my throat. Oh how I miss this view, and the house I’m standing on watching it. The house was the fruit of our hard work. Memories then flood my brain. All are bittersweet and wonderful memories.

We were still newlyweds, renting a tiny pad just for the two of us. I remember the times we were busy with the paper works in getting the lot mortgage. We have not yet decided to build a house right away. Then I became with a child. Nine months is still enough time so we started building our dream home. It was just a simple, indigenous house just as long as we have enough room for our coming child to play around. We were very hands on, especially my husband who has to check and supervise the people working on it, on top of having a full time job. It was not easy, and more so building a house did not come cheap. Well to make it short, the universe conspired to make everything happen. I then gave birth and after a couple months we finally moved into our dream home.

That house witnessed a lot of ups, downs and in betweens in our family life. Our son blew his first birthday candle on that front porch with our loved ones. And his second, third, fourth and fifth birthday candles as well as his many developmental milestones. It was also where my husband and I got to know each other more; our petty quarrels and misunderstandings, as well as the lazy afternoons when we just lay cozily in our living room building our dreams and talking about anything under the sun. The house itself was our achievement; building it from scratch to becoming a place where we truly felt secure. The walls heard my son’s baby screams and my off-key singing of lullabies. The moments we spent together  pulling weeds and sweeping the fallen Water Apple leaves from the garden. It was a natural exercise. The roof was even a sanctuary for birds evident with the white droppings they leave behind on our windows. There were a number of fruit bearing plants in our yard. I really miss just plucking lime fruits for my morning drink. The house saw many celebrations, holidays and gatherings with family and friends.

But it also saw how painful physical separation looks like. The house witnessed the tears and heartbreak when my husband left to work in another country. It saw how I would become the sole caretaker of the house, and the people living in it. I learned how to replace the drain pipe, fix ceiling fans, spend a whole day clearing the weeds, among all else. Being self-reliant is one thing positive from what seems like a negative situation.  The house witnessed how I panicked when my son cut his bleeding forehead after bumping on our kitchen counter or when he has a high fever in the dead of the night without someone to call upon. It witnessed my frustrations, fears, as well as my high hopes and trying-to-be- strong moments. But all those came to pass; our family got reunited for good after our family visa got approved. I learned a lot from the three years of raising my son singlehandedly, with my husband’s and our families’ moral support.

Guess this is the point of my writing piece, I have found my inner place because of the physical place where I have slowly developed my character and resilience. Overall those were great memories I will never get tired of replaying in my mind. It was full of love, sacrifice, independence, and happiness, the plus outweighing the minus. Though we still own the house, we already moved to a new place where we are starting a new set of memories; an entirely different environment, climate and culture. It is something I have to devote another entry on.

My entry on this week’s Discover Challenge

Finding Your Place

Detoured


      “Everything has its reason”. When  our human capacity for understanding is exhausted then we can always say “Only God knows.” 

      I can still remember how I felt many years ago when I marched the stage on my college graduation. It was victorious and bitter-sweet, sharing the same proud moment with my batchmates. I was filled with dreams, and my mind was overwhelmed at the thought of finally getting a taste of the real thing called life. True to what I envisioned myself I belonged to the corporate world for years at the same time my life happened. Marriage, motherhood, career all came in a frenzy. All did not come easy. There were trying moments but my faith carried me through it all. Turning point came when a door was opened for Hubs to work and eventually apply to migrate in Canada. I was left to raise our then toddler son, physically that is. I became a full time mom for a couple years then went back in the workforce. I was quite getting settled in my new career when our immigration application was approved. This time a major life event took place, we moved our little family to a foreign land. In a way it was not a surprise since we asked and prayed for it. But the feeling when you finally have something you asked for is kind of surreal, unexplainable. Fear somehow creeps in. 

      Nine months after we first came here, I’m still in the business of trying to fit in, belong and finding myself amidst the promise of countless opportunities that await. The only thing that I hold on to is the loving support of my hubs and son and my faith that God will lead me to the path that I envisioned myself to be in, no matter how many detours. 

      Weekly Photo Challenge: Journey

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      This journey is one of the highlights of my life’s existence.MARRIAGE. My hubs and I have been on this journey for 3 years and hopefully thirty folds more. These three years have not been short on the experiences, happy, memorable ones, as well as the not-so pleasant ones that leave life lessons along the way. I have known Mindy 5+ years into our courtship before we decided to become Mr. & Mrs.,   and to say that our togetherness for almost a decade now is an awesome one, is an understatement. I like the flow of our daily routines, although it is a crazy one, but it is something we built and brought to heart that makes our family unique.

      I am thankful that I am journeying on this path with Mindy. Whether it is a work of fate, or an answered prayer that we ended up destined with each other, the fact remains that we must not be contented of just having each other. Marriage, among all other things, also needs a regular check-up. Courtship efforts does not end right after saying “I do”. Things that we normally do during our boyfriend/girlfriend days  are still in order, albeit sparingly already but one has to think of the quality, not quantity right? In the early days into marriage, what mattered was just the two of us; but as things and events unfolded we found ourselves in the midst of thickening distractions; our baby, respective demanding careers, finances and what else around. Its getting in the way of our healthy marriage.

      Hubs and I have this two words that we vowed to uphold: C and L. Communication and Listening ( well, listening is also part of the communication process, but we had to highlight it).  It is the way in which we approach daily struggles and dilemmas. We all know that communication plays a vital role in every human relationship. I am thankful that we have this C and L. Need I say more?

      On this three years of married life, we are blessed to have each other,a very wonderful son, a modest house we call our own, our families combined, great friends, and most of all, God’s grace to sustain us in our everyday journey. I look forward to what awaits us in the coming more years.

      “Think of the dreams you have weathered together. They are intimate accomplishments.”

      Thank you hubby dear for giving me this journey with you.

      itsmejoanubalde

      Adventure of another kind

      Each of us goes through a phase in life that will become a turning point for the direction that we will be heading to. It is a matter of deciding wisely, for it will make or break us, so to say, and that the future lies on that certain decision.
      Since the time that I need to think of my future and the kind of life I will lead, I thought of living a simple life, just as the way I lived when I was still in the care if my parents. Just as imagined, I lived another typical existence: a girl fresh from college struggling to establish a career and eventually gain independence. Five years into a relationship with a man who I eventually married and started a family, life itself is as normal as anyone. Became a mother to a baby son, and thus another typical existence commenced. Any person in a situation just like mine would definitely agree that at some point, we came to reflect if this are all that life has to offer. If I look my life now using the eyes that I had, say, 10 years ago, I would not definitely trod this kind of path, honestly. I think this is a confined life, a life lacking in adventure. I am not a certified wanderlust but, yes I love to travel. Being single and worry-free, I only have myself to look after to. There was a time where my overnight backpack do not get to rest over on weekends, either there was a sleepover at a friend’s house, or an out of town trip somewhere, especially during long weekends.
      Fast forward ten years later, I’m turning 30 (gosh!) and having a 2 year old son and a husband so dear, what could be more adventurous than this life? There are so many definitions of adventure, and probably all of it is subjective, depends on how we define it. This sense of adventure I’m experiencing comes from the fact that ” Everyday is a new day”; means that I encounter different things, which requires from me a different approach to deal with, to solve, to respond to these situations. We have been told time and again that ” Life is a constant change”. I look at adventure as something that we do not know what lies ahead. We just have to go ahead and do it.
      Motherhood is the greatest adventure I am treading on so far. It give me the highs, and the lows as well. Well lately, the lows are freaking me out. I get my nerve wrecked if I sense something is wrong with my little one. My husband says sometimes I’m overreacting, but he can’t blame me. All of us mothers can agree that our maternal instincts always get a red alert.
      So I guess I poured out my sentiments. This a great adventure!

      My mind seems so blank

      After a week full of stress, I don’t know if i will get a breather. These days, everything is so hectic that I don’t even have time to unwind, and my only time spent at home is on evenings and I cant even spend much time bonding with my son. I so miss him, and I’m a bit guilty on not being there when he needs me, and most especially I feel sorry for myself because I’m not there to witness his milestones, like his first step. I know he walked when we were not around, but I guess this is just the price to pay for being a full time working mom, some things just needs to be like this..
      I had a very stressful week these past days, and I think its not going any better, I just got some time updating this blog since I cant go to sleep now, I did not take any coffee and yet my system isn’t showing any slowdown,I mean my mind. There are lots of things going on in my head, one of this is giving my husband a massage.Oh how can I do that when he’s already sleeping like a dog, and I am dead tired, yet my mind is so active. Any idea on how to do it with just using brainwaves?